love is a battlefield.

sooo...TODAY was absolutely fabulous and rather refreshing since i was able to spend it with my amazing family. but, you know what really grinds my gears? when you go on facebook and something, or shall i say someone, can really change your mood. i was creepin' on someone, and it sucks to know you love (note it did not say loved) them, but you never even talk anymore. i hate the feeling of knowing you were so close and now it's just...gone. boys, friends, best friends. you see their lives and you read about how they just keep on struttin' down the beautiful path of life. i wonder if they miss me. i wonder is she misses me...i wonder if he misses me. i hate how one disagreement can change everything. like how she took it the wrong way, or he thought i was not going to give him a second chance. i know it's my fault. i never gave them my side of the story. i never told him i still like him, and he scares me...i never told her i'm sorry and i miss her as my best friend. the thing is, is that i never know if they feel the same way. i mean do i tell this person? do i reach out? will i make the same mistake? will my heart brake for the second time? i'll never know. i might not ever even try to say...i'm sorry.

empty, but yet so full.

i've been in a state of mind to where my days start to blend and my whole body just starts to ache. the rate that i'm going is insane. first, school...next is church...then music...then homework...then a social life. ever what to put your lie on hold? yeah, i feel you on that. i contradict myself by saying i need more sleep and yet my here, blogging at one thirty in the morning. so good morning to you fine folk. homecoming weekend was this weekend. so glad it's over. it's not that i dislike homecoming, it's that i dislike not having a date. it's kinda depressing when you don't have someone ask you, but you can tell who your supportive friends are. thank goodness they didn't have dates either. but i still had a dandy time with my close friends going to dinner, getting froyo, then seeing a movie. i'm wiped. oh! but it gets better! i never miss church, so after going to bed at three in the morning, i woke up at nine, went to church...and then had flavour rehearsal. on TOP of that i had connect groups. it was awesome. we made pancakes and had an awesome message about drowning. that ring is the thing people. never forget. after that joyful time i went over to a close friends house and jammed. we have sick ideas you'll hopefully see down the road ;) but i just wanted to say, i had a great weekend. no matter how tired i am, i feel awesome because i made some stinkin good memories. man life is fabulous.

for starters.

WOW. It amazes me to know that I am only sixteen and can share my life with all of you lovely people. I don't even know where to begin. first off I would like to say thank you...for considering to even read this. Just even opening my blog pleases me :)
         The story of my life deserves no detail, and your time, but in my opinion, I DO deserve to be heard. I grew up in Atlanta, Georgia doing nothing with my life except breathing, eating, learning, chilling, and sleeping. I have amazing friends that have a place so sacred in my heart, and I love them Dearly.
          Three years, one month, and seventeen days ago...I moved to good ol' Dallas, Texas. Sorry to break it to you Georgia...but I consider Dallas my true home. GA was awesome, but I recall what I did there and it seems like nothing there has impacted my life in  the present, better yet my future. That place is just a memory now. I laugh about it. It seemed like my whole life was ending when i moved. I just never knew my life was actually starting here.
           I say I have accomplishments, but where is the proof?
GOD has given my opportunity after opportunity, and all because I KNOW that ANYTHING is possible when you lean on him. I was lucky enough for a beautiful young lady to have the boldness to ask me to church. I was saved in seventh grade because of her. I was not seeking God, I was seeking a friend. thankfully, I received both.
           Since that life changing day, I have given myself the responsibility to lead Fellowship church's youth band in worship. It's indescribable to know that I can give back the gift that he has placed in me to glorify his name. To be honest I am also amazed that i even stuck with it. I've always known that singing is what i want my career to be in the future, but to be a worship leader? I'm always living my label as a not a worship leader, but a Christian. Not just on stage or at church, but every word I speak and step I take has to glorify him. I just have to realize, that even though I do sacrifice a life of popularity and partying, that life would just be pulling me away from him, not pulling me closer.
            For walking down the path I am strolling on, my memories become rare and unique. I sing in front of thousands each weekend, I have recorded child songs that go out to over 200,000 churches, I have sang with the one and only Jonathan Cook from forever the sickest kids, I've sang at high school youth camps, but the best yet... I have helped change lives!
             My biggest choice was to give up this, or go do this silly rock camp. yes, the reward would've been awesome (opening up for Justin Beiber) but those two minutes of fame could've changed everything. I probably would not be "famous"... i would not have my position at the church... and i would not be speaking to you about how much God has done with me.
              I do count on starting to play outside of the church more to touch the lives not wanting to be touched, and get my youtube site up, but for now I live my life...Happy and satisfied :)

        Peace and many blessing,
Annalise Bethea Bush